My mind races a lot. Things to do, story ideas, the need to create…and keeping up with my kids. This, is generally at the forefront of my thoughts. Things like, “Where did I hide the step ladder again from my five-year-old?” “Where is my five-year-old, and what is she up to this time?” “Why are the tape, scissors, and glue missing again, and WHAT did they ‘create’ that will require calling a licensed contractor to fix?”
And then there is the general confusion I suffer from…Trying not to call Audrey, “Sabrina” and Sabrina, “Audrey”… Usually, I settle with “Ausbrina”, and they both respond, “Mommy! You’re SO silly.” I try to act like I meant to call them that and laugh it off. “Oh, yes, I’m so silly,” I reply.
Sometimes, I step outside to clear my head. Don’t worry, I bring the kids with me. It always refreshes me to look at the pretty colors around my yard…especially the Birds of Paradise flowers. Their simply beauty makes me smile. I go back inside feeling more relaxed, thinking happy thoughts, and mentally refreshed. Sometimes, you just need some fresh air… and backyard blooms.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d better see what Ausbrina and Ausbrina are up to… 😉
Today, my daughter, (the oldest,) turned six-years-old. She looked in the mirror this morning and said, “I’m six! I’m new.”
Her comment played over and over in my mind throughout the day. I’m new. She was so excited.
I imagined looking in the mirror and excitement shooting through me. “I’m new.” But when I look in the mirror these days, I see a tired, overly caffeinated Mom trying to keep it together, hoping the mystery substance her four-year-old smeared on her shirt will come out with bleach. I see a frazzled, always on the go, must meet my deadline and conquer the world every single day woman, who checks her calendar two to three times a day to verify, again, which day of the week it is. I am anything but new…
After a small birthday party at her school, I feel slightly revitalized. (Hanging out with thirty boisterous kindergarteners will do that to you.) The rational part of my brain tells me to race home and get twenty-five minutes of work time in before I have to pick up my preschooler. But suddenly that desire to feel new has me turning the car in a different direction, and I know where I have to go.
I dig eight quarters out of three different coin purses stashed around my car. (I’m so organized.) I pay the parking meter and walk out onto the beach. I kick off my shoes and hope the trio of tipsy tourists won’t bother them, (they are well into something and clearly celebrating a birthday.) I take a nice fifteen minute stroll down the beach and think about this day six years ago. The day my life changed so drastically. The day I had a new baby, (who I had no idea what to do with…Seriously, I had never even changed a diaper.)
On my way back to my car, I veer from the path and follow a trail of wildflowers into the woods. Wildflowers of varying colors dot the landscape, and I try to capture a few photos. I love the bright colors. Before long, I am walking back to my car, and a happy sigh escapes me. I am completely relaxed. An interlude with some wildflowers and getting my feet in the sand has me feeling renewed. I may not be new, like my six-year-old, but I’ll take renewed for now. There may be hope for this frazzled woman yet. I guess we will see…